Booker and Gillibrand to Get Firmware Updates

Washington, D.C. –  Your iPhone isn’t the only thing that requires an update!  Political androids, Cory Booker (D-NJ) and Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY), have been recalled for scheduled maintenance and updates.


Created as a newer and sleeker version to the popular Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton models, Booker and Gillibrand serve as the 2.0 variety for Washington politicians.

Android technicians expect the pair to only be inoperable for a few days as their neural cortex is loaded with fresh, progressive archetypes.


DNC Chair Tom Perez said, “Cory has been looking a little sluggish lately with some noticeable hiccups.  Kirsten on the other hand seems to be running rather smoothly, staying close to her generic Clinton narrative”.

Glitchy software has been a recent concern for the newer models, and the DNC has attempted to maintain control.  The new code will address the recent string of bugs experienced by Booker, and will better equip the politicians with improved emotion receptors.


Gillibrand is expected to appear on the “Rachel Maddow Show” this Friday 9:00pm ET.

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