China Stages Intervention for Kim Jong Un

Beijing, China – President Trump has been asking the Chinese government for months to take action concerning North Korea.  In a recent tweet, the President stated —

In response to this, President Xi Jinping has decided to take unilateral action – staging an intervention for North Korean leader, Kim Jong-Un.

“We are deeply concerned about Kim”, President Jinping said in a statement today, ” […] and we are here – as friends first, but concerned friends”.  The intervention is reported to include a round table discussion, complete with refreshments.  Only people holding the ‘talking pillow’ will be allowed to speak, and mean spirited statements will not be allowed (although constructive criticism is encouraged).

The hope is that eventually, the North Korean leader will agree to a twelve step “Dictators Anonymous” (or DA) program, which has been designed specifically to help Kim Jong-Un move from his current position as Supreme Leader, to a more positive and fulfilling role, such as working at a marketing firm or starting a restaurant.  The program will also seek to encourage healthy habits like a proper diet, daily exercise, and creative journal writing.

 

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