Notre Dame Students Walk Out of Graduation Directly Into Unemployment

South Bend, Indiana – Early Sunday morning, Vice President Mike Pence returned to his home state of Indiana to speak at the University of Notre Dame.  He was invited earlier this year to address the school and to deliver the commencement speech for the graduation ceremony.  However, when Pence took the stage, roughly 100 students stood up and left the stadium.

Pence didn’t directly acknowledge these students, but instead used his time behind the podium to discuss the importance of free speech at institutions of higher learning.  He commended Notre Dame for maintaining an “atmosphere of civility and open debate,” while condemning other campuses where there are “safe zones, tone policing, administration-sanctioned political correctness, all of which amounts to nothing less than suppression of the freedom of speech.”


The students who walked out reconvened at the local Starbucks cafe, where they reaffirmed each other and sipped iced frappucinos.  CRP caught up with the group for a comment.  “We are making a stand against Mike Pence because he wants to electrocute gay people and further the oppression of marginalized groups in America”, said social-work major, Kendra Hooper.   When asked about the vague accusation, Hooper was unable to elaborate and simply called us fascists.

A great number of the students who protested Mr. Pence were gender-studies majors, with a couple of political science, social-work, and fine arts graduates mixed in.  Most could be heard talking about their lackluster search for jobs and complaining about how oppressive “the system” is.  Currently, the top three Bachelor’s Degrees in demand in the United States are accounting, computer science, and finance; none of which these graduates had.

Marc LaMons, 22, even asked CRP for a position.  “I’ve been looking to get on the ground-floor with a new tech startup.  You’d be surprised how little is available in Indiana.  By the way, can you take a look at my resume if you get the chance?”.



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