Hillary Clinton Disavows Wall Street, Embraces Communism
Washington, D.C. – Many have speculated on why Hillary Clinton lost the general election. Some are convinced that her ties to Wall Street, large financial institutions, and the general narrative of corruption are what sunk her campaign against former reality television show star, Donald Trump.
However now, in a shocking turn of events, Hillary Clinton has turned from blue, to red – very red.
“The dialectic is in motion” the former Secretary of State opened today in a new video entitled “A Haunting Specter” which, was released across multiple social media platforms by Clinton’s office this morning.
“For too long the rich bourgeois swine have manipulated and lied to the working masses!”
This has come as a surprise to many. Clinton has also reportedly met with Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) to campaign for a new $87/hour minimum wage bill, which is much higher than her 2016 campaign proposal of a possible $12/hour wage.
Clinton has also declared to “grind the bourgeois between the millstones of taxation and inflation”. Inspired by French Socialist candidate Jean-Luc Mélenchon, Clinton has proposed a new 137% tax on the top 50% of income earners in the United States. When pressed by economist on how this would produce negative growth, Clinton responded that the “growth of the capitalist class is no growth at all, but death to all working people”.
Clinton has reportedly been in communication with FEMA officials about planning new “Green Energy Camps”. In the face of global climate change, Clinton has proposed a new take on Keynesian policy known as “democratic command economics”. “Why should we wait for the capitalist class to solve our problems…” Clinton asked in the video today, “…when we can simply unite and build the country we demand?”
The policy would include several such Green Energy Camps being built across the nation to facilitate the construction of new Green Lumber Yards and Green Work Facilities in which workers would construct the new green infrastructure of the future.
A spokesperson for Hillary Clinton said today that the Department of Justice stands ready to provide “as many willing proletariats” as needed to make this glorious socialist paradise come to fruition.
Democratic Socialist Bernie Sanders commented today on the video:
“Look, I think the Secretary has had a change of heart. I think she understand that soon, the streets will run red with the blood of the ruling class, and she wants to be an instrumental part of that change.”
Clinton has also come out in support of making recognition of new gender pronouns mandatory training in all Pre-through-K classrooms in all public schools.