Lessons Learned From Erdogan’s Visit to the White House

Washington, D.C. – On Tuesday, President Trump eagerly exchanged notes with Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan in the Oval Office.  They covered a wide range of subjects in their meeting, from the ‘ongoing battle against the Islamic State’ to the ‘best course of action to take in order to become the sole autocratic leader of an oppressed nation’.

Erdogan praised Trump’s recent “triumphant” victory in the election, saying, “This marks the beginning of a new alliance”.  Trump also congratulated the Turkish President on his successful crackdown on his country’s democratic institutions.  “Isn’t that great.  You really won BIGLY over there”, Trump stated.

Mutual admiration was the underlying tone of the day, as both leaders swapped their respective methods to relentlessly grab power.  “What a guy.  He doesn’t even have to listen to anyone anymore.  How great is that?”, clamored Trump as he nodded towards Erdogan.

Erdogan stated that, “You just need to fake a coup, beat the ‘opposition’, and subsequently jail anyone who challenges you.  It’s pretty simple, really”.   Trump was seen jotting bullet-points in a tattered composition notebook.

Sources tell CRP that Trump is expected to issue an Executive Order as early as Thursday which would greatly expand his direct authority while simultaneously rendering all other branches of government useless.

The administration denies claims that Trump was influenced by Erdogan in any way.

 

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