president trump let the government fail

President Trump: “Let the Government Fail”

Washington, D.C. – Recently, President Trump has stated that his plan in relation to the issue of “repeal and replace” of Obamacare (the common name for the Affordable Care Act or ACA) was to “Let Obamacare fail”.  This blase attitude has pleased key Republican leaders throughout the nation.

Riding the wave of support following this approach, Donald Trump has declared that his new domestic policy, in general, will be to “let the government fail altogether”.

“When was the last time they did anything for anyone?”, Trump asked a press conference today.  “I’m the President, and I say screw it. Don’t pay taxes. Don’t vote. Act like they don’t exist.”

The new policy came as a shock to every federal employee.

“I’m not joking”, Trump continued, “Military too. F**k ’em” (CRP regrets the President’s use of coarse language).

In response, all working departments in the federal government have reportedly begun to stop showing up to their jobs.  The only employees still showing up are hoping to receive cafeteria meals and use the public facilities.

The military is no exception.  One Marine, stationed in Okinawa, Japan, reportedly flipped over a local citizen’s car, saying “I am the law now”.

president trump let the government fail

Citizens expecting to collect unemployment, social security, emergency first response, or any other vital government services have been left in a precarious position.  One man, a 103 year old Army veteran, stated that he “doesn’t give a damn” and “would gladly die to watch Trump purge the commies [sic]” from the federal bureaucracy.  Department of Education officials have issued an indefinite “summer vacation” to all students.  Millennials are heralding this as “justice at last”.

Shockingly, despite zero federal government requirements, the federal government has managed to run a significant deficit this quarter.

“There’s work, and then there’s tradition” said CBO executive Keith Hall.  “Even though we may have suspended all federal operations”, he continued, “we want to ensure that the American people can know, with faith, that we will continue to find ways to spend their money, even when it’s not required.  We go beyond the call of duty here at the Congressional Budget Office”.

Despite this, many Republicans are hailing this failure as a resounding success.  Democrats in Congress claim they will work to get the federal government moving again “later”.

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