Ted Cruz to Propose Censorship Law Following Embarrassing Pornographic Tweet
Washington, D.C. – Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) eagerly took the stage to address his recent scandal involving a lengthy pornographic video which was “liked” from his official Twitter handle. The tweet has since been removed and reported to Twitter by Cruz’ Communications Adviser.
“Late last night, as I scrolled through the many patriotic tweets remembering the fallen heroes of September 11th, my finger slipped and accidentally “liked” a rather unsavory video. I want to apologize for the mistake and propose a new initiative to combat the smut that contaminates our internet”, Cruz said in a prepared statement. “That is why I am looking into crafting legislation which would abolish pornography altogether”. Cruz later added that he had come to this decision after much deliberation with his wife and Pastor.
Cruz, the otherwise staunch Constitutionalist, seeks this censorship as a means of atonement for his blunder.