Trans Soldiers Steal Stockpile of Hormones, Lead Attack on White House
Washington, D.C. – Early yesterday morning, President Trump posted a series of Tweets which outlined his plan to bar transgender individuals from serving in the military. Sparking outrage, citizens have taken to social media to display their disgust and general support for the LGBTQ community.
However, this faux emotional response wasn’t enough for a small group of transgender soldiers who were stationed at Fort Meade, Maryland. Roughly two dozen soldiers led an attack George Washington University Hospital where they commandeered and self-administered roughly 12 gallons of testosterone and anabolic steroids. The potent cocktail enraged the group which soon set their sights on the White House.
The guerrilla force ran through the streets of Washington, D.C. leaving a wake of destruction in their path. When they arrived at the White House, they began to violently shake the iron fence which serves as a soft perimeter around the building. A liaison to the Trump Administration was sent to speak to the enraged crowd, but was quickly eviscerated in a bloody mess.
It wasn’t until the Transgender Militia Representative, and former Seal Team 6 Operative, Kristen Beck, requested a meeting with Trump did the violence end. Trump has agreed to a meeting and is in the process of redetermining his policy. Should the carnage of Washington be any indicator, it seems as if the insurrection has proved transgender worth as a viable fighting force.